In the process of writing my white paper, and reflecting on my adolescent experiences in IT, as well as how they shaped the experiences that followed in my career as an adult, I have come to realize that it is time for me to forgive the abusers and transgressors of my life, and to cremate the past.
To the humans of this Earth that have ever endeavored to abuse me mentally, physically, or intellectually; to take from me, to limit me, to try to stifle my ambitions, to trample my rights and dignities, to subjugate me in any way, shape, or form, for any reason, at any age, in school, at work, or in my personal affairs, I forgive you.
You acted out of insecurity. You chose to treat me as a threat to mask your own shortcoming, because you saw my potential, or because I saw your dark intentions. I was supposed to trust you, but it was not I who assailed you. I am, and always will be, Goodness within the mortal body of a human being. It is you that chose to approach me with manipulation, degradation, and subterfuge in your mind, while I only gave you openness, honesty, and collaboration. This made it my solemn duty to defend myself and my dignity against the venomous individuals, predators, and narcissistic psycho-sociopaths that inhabited my life; Those that choose to purposefully act out of malice and avarice to reach their goals, no matter who they hurt. I chose to harness the pain and suffering you caused me, to become stronger, ever-increasingly more aware, self-motivated, determined and -what you seemed to fear the most- Myself; an educated bilingual American in Tech.
To the Zachs, Richards, and Micahs of the World, the Barbs, Carols, Deborahs, Maries and Marys of the World, the Mos, Roberts and Ranjeets of the World, and to your minions; To the racist lady at the library and the racist neighbors that have come onto my property to kill my gardens, tear down my flags and prank-called the fire department to break into my home; To the fire chief who shrugged that off; To the boomer colleagues that made a game out of erasing my workboards to try to sabotage me (that is why I have so many pictures of my works); to the ex-mother-in-law that fed me dog food when all I did was try to love you; to the abusive teachers; to the mental and physical rapists; to the IP thieves; to the emotional and psychological terrorists; to the cresco stalkers and the ex-wife whose addictions, thefts, secrets, and pathological lies destroyed the bonds of matrimony and family (stop calling me, we are divorced); to those that hurt my innocent pets; to any and all hot-doggers on the road who purposefully try to endanger my life and the lives of others around us; to any weaponized authority with overreach, I forgive you.
I forgive you all because you needed to use me. You needed to hurt me, and others, to fill your container of hate, because you saw opportunity to enrich yourselves at the expense of someone else, in order to succeed in a world that rewards corruption; for your families, your children, your pets, your machinations. Some of you might even still be CIOs, Presidents, and VPs today, but you are not leaders, especially where financial gain or fame is your sole motivation. I am a leader because it is I that influenced you with the benefit of my powerful mind, vulnerable body, original efforts, and natural existence. I am a leader because I moved you to look at yourself in the mirror. I am a leader because you sought to take from me, and to compete with me, and to try to make less of me. I am a leader because I have never needed to take from anyone, or compete with anyone, or make less of anyone in order to elevate the people around me. I have never, ever needed to take advantage of anyone in order to accomplish my goals. My purpose is to give the gifts that I am alive to generate.
What you chose to do with the gifts that you stole from me is imbued with me, and I shall always be there. I will continue to generate my gifts on my own, and they will always be with me. You, the villains, are forgiven and exorcised from my life-path for all time. I choose to shed your burdens and return them to you now and always, for these are not my debts to pay, and your debts are no longer with me. I forgive you. Should you re-enter my path, it’s because you forcefully endeavored to do so, and I will no longer be forgiving. Everything you did to hurt me is another story of vulnerability I turned into superpowers, and another story that I have with which to inspire others in my works. That is leadership.
For my own mistakes and sins, let it be known that I have atoned, I have paid in full, and I am square with all houses long before today.
I wake up every day as I always have: thankful and with the clarity of intention to do only good, to contribute, to teach, to learn, and to help people. Even if you do not accept me, I will accept you. My light is resplendent.